Beasts of the Southern Wild-Have You Seen It? You should!

I have seen the movie "Beasts of the Southern Wild" now three times. I fully expect to see it at least that many times more. Each viewing I discover something more to love about it, and its heroine Quevenzhane'  Wallis. It is a difficult movie to watch:but that is what makes it so very magical and a must see. To an outsider-questionable parenting-in fact from a Clinical Psychologists' vantage point-even abusive. 6 year old "Hush Puppy" really raises herself, her mom leaving her to be parented by her alcoholic father, Wink (Dwight Henry) who is dying from some unknown illness. It doesn't matter what the illness is-the fact is he is dying, and his daughter will have to fin for herself-and have to learn to do so in a hurry. So in his last days he teaches her how to catch and make food, find shelter, attend school, and live among a community of outsiders in "The Bathtub".  Add a haunting score, unforgettable images-this is a movie that stays with you for a lifetime. Even more astonishing is that the two main characters are not professional actors.

The Bathtub is also a source of distress for outsiders looking in. It recalls the disasters of Katrina, but this community lives constantly with the challenges of coping with a volatile environment that you are wholly dependent on for food and shelter. The average viewer might initially be horrified at such abject poverty-but these Delta dwellers love their lives and each other.  They can think of no better place to call home. In fact, their worst fear is to be cared for by social services.

It is this delicate balance of the environment that "Hush Puppy" has to navigate that is so tear provoking for me. She believes that she has broken all that is near and dear to her-Wink included that is so sad. I love that at such an early age she has realized that she is a little piece of the universe, and she wants to preserve this way of life for those that come after her. It is difficult to bury a parent at any age-but as a child-mind boggling. Even more impressive she understands at this young age there is a circle of life, one she must pass on. We have all become more "green" in our day to day lives, but we would all do well to see the world as diverse and wonderful as she does. In her world, it doesn't take more than caring for her animals, a pile of seafood, a shed for shelter, and those that love her (especially her daddy) nearby to make her happy.

In the end, Hush Puppy ultimately faces her fears which take the form of "aurochs" a pere-historic beast that she envisions as tipping the delicate balance of nature, and contributing to the death of her dad. In fact, it is her that assists with his transition-and as he promised-she becomes the leader of this tight knit community. She knows somehow you always lose the one "that made you". Poetically told and heartfelt-it will leave you glad and sad all at the same time. It has been years since a movie has stirred such emotion in me-and perhaps because it is at a time when so much about my life and business has grown in such unexpected ways. To build a house is one thing, a workspace is another, but combining the two-so that you can create a life for yourself, family and create jobs for your community-is a painstaking labor of love. After seeing this movie-we believe we are on right track. My company TransformationServices, Inc uses a holistic approach to counseling: incorporating a healthier physical, emotional, and spiritual lifestyle.This "green" and growing environment also supports a Social Entrepreneurship Incubator for Professionals and "Professionals to Be" that are, or want to be Substance Abuse or Mental Health Counselors. Like Hush Puppy, "The whole universe depends on everything fitting together just right".

I would love to hear from others who have seen it, what the movie meant to them-according to the director and producer-it means something different to everyone. I recently got my DNA tests back (Fula/Mende-Temme, Kru) found from Sierra Leone to Liberia) which may also have contributed to my wonderment and appreciation of "Beasts", where we all question the legacy of where we come from, and what we wish to leave behind. According to the end of the film, "I'm recording my story for the scientists in the future. In a million years when kids go to school they are going to know that once there was a Hush Puppy, and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub".

Help for Holiday Blues: Christmas through Kwanzaa and into the New Year

Being happy is very important before, during and after the holiday season. This requires 3 things: Affect or Feeling Expression, Behavior-how much you do for yourself and others during this hectic season, and Cognition-how you feel about your self.


Affect perhaps is the hardest for women and people of color to express. Frequently during the holidays we put on a happy face so that friends or loved ones don't really know how we really are feeling. Don't do that! First identify your feeling states: mad, glad, sad, scared. Most people confuse being angry with being depressed, because it makes you feel less guilty and threatening to others. Instead, label and announce your feelings. Don't want to prepare and have the traditional dinner, because that's the way it is always been? Then Don't, the world won't come to an end. People may be upset initially, but they will get over it! Any change is a process, and this no different with relatives and friends. Lower your expectations-everyone can't be the Cosby family.



You can't change others, but you can change your Behavior. Like affect, it is easiest to do what you have always done, in fact the best predictor of what will happen in the future is what has happened in the past. Don't fall victim to this cycle, you too can turn and go down a different road. Assertiveness is a learned technique and a choice. Most of us fall into being non-assertive or aggressive. In other words we let people walk all over us (non-assertive) until we blow up at someone (aggressive) over something that is not even related to what we were upset about in the first place. We may feel that our behavior is controlled by others, so we may even be able to state our feelings, but can't take that next step to request what we really want. Using the holiday dinner example, one option would be to alternate, share or designate someone else to take responsibility for the meal. Or go out! This is not unheard of, in fact you could change your holiday tradition all together. Change is not a bad thing. Further, there are 300+ other days that you can celebrate. Or better still, rejoice or fete an "ordinary" day. Sometimes it is just good to let people know what they mean to us-unexpectedly.



Cognitions, or how we feel should not be reflected in how others think of us, but how we feel about ourselves. The malady of low self-esteem is rampant in this day of perfect bodies and advanced degrees. You are where you are supposed to be! Moreover, you are in charge of any life change that you choose to make! Others cannot make us happy, that is our responsibility. This is the season for giving, but receiving as well. But we also cannot give if we have given everything we have. This is especially pertinent if we have children. While we want them to be happy the commercialization of the season makes us feel "less than" if we cannot provide the latest fashion or hottest toy. Your kids will love you anyway!



Make the holidays and everyday yours-whether it is an old or new tradition, whether it is Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or not at all. Do what makes you happy not only this time of year, but make every day of the year! It can be as easy as A - B - C. Make this a promise for 2010!




Dr. Hicks is anxious to hear about your relationships and work situations of all kinds. She may have the answer for you! Contact her at http://www.transformationservices.info/